Issues that I frequently complained about.
Issues with a certain son, who we shall refer to as Captain Fling and Destroy, who was obsessed with opening my kitchen drawers and especially raiding my dishwasher at any given opportunity.
I will admit I may have repeatedly mentioned to my husband that too much of my cardiovascular workout came from sprinting to the kitchen in response to the sound of shattering glass.
But the solution was 100% Justin's idea.
Therefore, Biggie's newest neurosis is 100% Justin's fault.
During a recent dishwasher raid, Justin attacked Biggie's bottom with these.
Justin didn't PINCH Biggie's bottom, mind you.
Just clicked them wildly behind Biggs and screamed at him to run for his life because the pinch monster was going to eat his bottom off.
And Biggs believed him.
100%.
Now, whenever Biggs comes into the kitchen, he nearly gives himself whiplash...spinning around at the slightest noise and shaking like a leaf.
One mention of the Tong Monster and the kid streaks out of the room and down the hall.
The mere sight of them brings him to tears.
And, God forbid, you should click them together.
He dissolves into a weeping, shrieking, blubbering mess.
As testament to the fine parents we are, the tongs stand guard to the kitchen entryway.
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
So, for those keeping track...
in choosing a disciplinary tactic for our son who is known for having significant food issues and a slew of irrational fears...
my husband chose to instill a paralyzing fear of eating utensils to keep Biggs out of the room where the food is located.
I have to say, though, emptying a dishwasher without fighting off 33 pounds of maniacal toddler has been pretty sweet.
And Biggs won't be the first Heigele man to choke up at the news that I'm serving salad for supper.
But, in Biggie's future therapy sessions...should this neurotic behavior stand out from the countless others that I will have to assume direct responsibility for...
...just remember.
This one was 100% Dad-produced.
Oh Courtney! Poor Biggs but I'm dying laughing too! Gotta show Nick this. We are big on tongs in our family, so this will be his warning!
ReplyDeletebahahahahahaaha! That's awesome! Poor Biggs!
ReplyDeleteBook in the making! Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteI'm dyin' laughing here! If it makes you feel better, when my daughter was small she was afraid of the little bobble-head dogs so we put one on the bathroom counter to keep her out of the bathroom. Of course, it made potty training hell later on. And, my mom was afraid of cotton balls(seriously, cotton balls) and my grandma put cotton balls in the doorway to keep her from going outside. She still has someone else take the cotton from a bottle of aspirin.
ReplyDeleteROFL. My son used to be terrified of Zhu Zhu pets. We didn't need baby gates. Just a well placed hamster to keep him out of any room.
ReplyDeleteOh, poor Biggs! Thank you for the laugh though!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is A W E S O M E.
ReplyDeleteNot gonna lie, I'm totally trying this with Sutter....that kid hears the dishwasher open and sprints into the room like I just opened the gates to Disneyland! My guess is he'll most likely laugh and think I'm playing a fun new game but it's worth a shot!
ReplyDeletehow's your blood curdling scream? i believe the sneak attack WITH scream may be imperative to your over all success. you know. lasting psychological trauma requires an element of body-quivering shock and fear for one's life.
DeleteToo funny. My daughter for 2 yrs was afraid of any battery animated toy like tickle me Elmo or the monkey that plays symbols. I didn't need baby gates with her. Just placed one of these in the doorway and she went no where near it. You really need to turn your blog into a book. All the therapy tips and tools and the humor is great. I look forward to reading your blog daily. I have been a so call lurker for awhile. I came across your blog late one night researching kidos with special needs. My daughter is dev delayed with possible mito.
ReplyDeleteHi! I have just caught up on your blog, I started a week ago at the very beginning and have been making my way steadily up to today! I just wanted to let you know I adore your whit and the way you handle the situations your little cuties put you in. I work as a therapeutic horseback riding instructor, and children with down syndrome hold a very special place in my heart. Not that you really need another therapy, but I would highly suggest you try therapeutic horseback riding with your crew. You can find centers near you on the PATHINT.org website. PATH is the equivalent of NAECY, so a premiere accredited center is the cream of the crop.
ReplyDeleteKeep up your awesome job raising these incredible individuals. I hope to someday be able to compare notes with you as my fiancé and I have plans to adopt as you have.
My eldest daughter use to chase her younger sister yelling, " The dirty rag (dust cloth ) is going to get you ! " when she wanted to play with her Barbie toys. The frightened daughter has her degree in psychology now and does have some passive- aggressive behavior at times with her sister, but so far no therapy sessions have been needed. And, the youngest daughter use to come out of her sister's room, as soon as eldest daughter left for school with their daddy, yelling, " Time for Ken and Barbie, Mom ! There is such a thing as revenge ! Thank you for the laugh and for bringing back sweet memories .
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh I can't stop laughing and tearing. I read to my husband and after he stopped laughing asked if that might help our exact situation. Lol. Once again, you made me laugh and enjoy our similar situation
ReplyDeleteSo hysterically funny. Whatever works! I totally wish my kid had irrational fears....it would make my life so much easier!!!
ReplyDeleteCracked me up. And then to read the other readers' responses just made me laugh even more!
ReplyDeleteCan't....stop....laughing!!!!!!!!! That boy is soooooo funny;)
ReplyDeleteMy mother told my young cousin that the preheating oven was for cooking little boys in (him being the only little boy in the house). He is not afraid of ovens now, he's only afraid of my mother..
ReplyDeleteThis is the funniest thing I have read all week! Oh my gosh, that photo of him staring at the tongs hahaha.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, your kidlets are going to grow up just fine! Mine did and I am still amazed. :)
Love your blog, makes me laugh every time. This one is priceless. You should seriously write a book!
ReplyDeleteClassic! Too funny - I needed a good giggle this morning :D
ReplyDeleteI think Justin should write a book too..heck with Dr. Spock ..we have Justin!! :)
ReplyDeleteLaughed my way through this entire post. LOVE your guys' parenting skillz. ;)
ReplyDeleteI am laughing so hard. The story is great. The way you tell it is even better!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and thank-you for it! I love the therapy suggestions and of course, LC and Jace are the cutest kiddos of all time - they always put a smile on my face.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh out right loud!!! Poor lil man! :)
Hysterical ... and hey, if it works, it works. :)
ReplyDelete