He Will NOT be Outdone

Graphic Content Warning:  Which you should probably just assume when any post is dedicated to the Biggs.

One of Jace's claims to fame is his ability to go down for nap with pink, healthy skin and wake up with a diaper area covered in raw, blistered OUCH.

This is helped out by a stomach quirk that means, when he gets diarrhea, he basically shoots stomach acid into his pants and onto any skin unfortunate enough to come into contact with it.

So yesterday, when he woke up screaming, we knew to come running with the diaper cream.

Only too bad for the Biggs.

Because this blistered plague hit him in his groin.

Right where thunder thighs meet diaper.

And there was no preventing some serious chaffage.

All he could do was stand like he was straddling an invisible beach ball.

And scream.  He could also scream.

Diapers were not an option.

The boy's junk was on FIRE.

But he was also sputtering acidic poo with every wail.

It doesn't leave a mom with many options.

Thank you, Jesus, for a glorious 65 degree sunny afternoon.

(A medical situation made all the more unfortunate by the wearing of dark dress socks.)

Jace's "Feelin' the Burn" face.

This is the expression he immediately sported anytime he was forced to take a step.

Biggie quickly realized the most comfortable position was a nice, wide-legged squat that let him air out the boys and hit those blistered thighs with a little breeze.

Without exaggeration, Poor Biggety spent about 8 hours in this squatted position yesterday.  Not outside, mind you.  But perpetually squatted.  I can't imagine his quads hadn't turned to Jell-O by bedtime.

Of course, the natural remedy route had its drawbacks.

I don't know how those cavepeople did it.

But I'm darn sure they didn't do it in Nike shox from Cousin Curtie.

(Fear not, sweet Curtie.  It was a clean drop and we went inside, sans shoes, for an hour long soak in the tub.)

Luckily, the situation seems greatly improved today and it looks like Biggie's bowels are under control.

But he certainly earned rights as a contender for the "Sickest of the Sick" title I'd previously bestowed to Pudge.

I suppose the crown depends on your interpretation of the word.